My son just kissed me.
This is a rare occasion for my 10-year-old. So rare that I cannot remember the last time he willingly kissed me. He also hugged me – a smile on face, hands reaching out kind of hug – and he hugged hard.
Sigh… Cherishing the moment…
As I think about this fleeting moment, which only happened 20 minutes ago, it brings tears to my eyes. The last six months have brought me to an exciting but difficult realization that my son is growing up, moving on, and becoming a wonderful person on his own. I know that everyone who has ever been a parent tells you it goes too fast, to savor the moments, they will grow up before you know it, etc. I know this, we all know this, for we are too kids of someone out there. We grew up and became independent wonderful people on our own.
But no one can truly tell you what it feels like as a parent until you feel it.
I feel it deep. I feel the wonder and pride for how fantastic he is and how amazing I know he will become. I feel a pain and loss knowing that he, in one way or another, is moving on. I know he will still need me – he does still need me – but I see him growing up right before my eyes. And this all makes me happy, sad, grateful, lonely, loved, and thankful all rolled into one. It makes me want to do nothing tomorrow but sit with him, play with him, listen to him, and love him. He is mine, some of the best pieces of me all put together in him.
I saw a quote today that I fell in love with immediately. I don’t know who this person is, but I came across it on another blog. “Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It’s about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you’re lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.” – Joan Ryan
Earlier today, before the endearing hug and kiss, my son randomly looked at me and said, “I couldn’t ask for a better mom.”
Sigh… Wiping happy tears… Cherishing the moment…