One of the wonderful things about social media is Facebook memories.
January 28, 2013: James likes to fall asleep holding onto a piece of us, just to know we are there with him. Some nights it is Casey’s arm or my ponytail. Tonight James is holding onto my hand as I sing him songs and he falls asleep. That’s all any of us really want… just to know someone is there to be with you and love you just as you are. *insert gushy feeling* I am so lucky to love such wonderful boys, and to be loved in return.
As a young child, I looked forward to bedtime. I was that weird kid who would look at my mom and say, “Bed now?” My parents would sing me songs and I would beg for more. They would tell me stories or make up stories. And mom mom would rub my back or do what we called “face ticklies” (basically a light touch face massage).
When our parents age or get ill, there is a role reversal.
Last summer, I sat by my mom. Brushed her hair off her forehead. Repositioned her stuffed animal. Held her hand. Sang to her. Hugged her. Slept next to her.
It was a week-long bedtime ritual.
But at the root of it all, isn’t that what we all want?
Just to know someone is there to be with you and love you just as you are.
That’s what we did. I may never know what that week meant to her, but I do think she could hear us and feel us. She knew we were there to comfort her and love her. To be with her just as she was.
Thanks mom, for bedtime rituals of love.
Man. There are just some days that we get crapped on.
- Someone is unkind
- Someone is very sick
- Someone just lost custody of their daughter
- Someone’s baby just died
And I hold a space for people to feel safe to share these things with me – so they do.
And sometimes being the on the receiving end can be heavy.
And it is rainy outside, so there’s that.
World, please stop crapping on people.
Update: I then received a call from my husband and a text from my sister just checking on me. And then I drove through Taco Bell and had the kindest interaction with an employee, who wished me a fantastic rest of my day. Then I laughed with my teenager and snuggled the cat and dog.
Self care doesn’t have to be some grand gesture. More often it is the small moments throughout our day that remind us what we have to be grateful for.
So world, thanks for the reminders of joy. If you could do this for everyone, that would be helpful.
Possibly the most important thing a parent can do with a child.
(This is my Grampy and my mom)
I spent most of the afternoon yesterday making a house – out of a box. My nephew helped me design it, strategize on how to keep it from falling over, decide where the windows should go and what shape they should be, etc. And then both he and James helped me decorate it with markers and crayons. It comes with a rose bush, an address, and detachable garage! What a great way to spend my day, goofin off in child directed play! My grampy would be proud.
Make today memorable in whatever type of house you choose. Enjoy your child. Enjoy yourself. Goof off!
Grampy Vern – car, gun, hat, and flat Eastern Colorado land. Livin the life.